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Episodes from Run Your Mouth
Iran Is Totally Cool Now
Cold open news intro. Followed by the latest in Iran, the seeming DT walk back and you can totally trust them now, they learned their lesson after my spanking. After that we've got the latest nonsense news including Daylight Savings time, Trump Seeing A doctor and more. Closing out the show with NYC Gov supermarkets, Abrego Garcia charges dropped, cops writing tickets to handless drivers and Republican senators mad about the J6 Fun.Support the show: RobBernsteinComedy.comPorch Dates at: www.porchtour.comSubmit a porch at: TheFireTix.comMerch...
Directed Energy Weapons, Missing Scientists & Foreign War Updates | Kyle Anzalone
Robbie the Fire is joined by Kyle Anzalone of the Kyle Anzalone Show and Antiwar.com for a wide-ranging conversation on conspiracies, war reporting, and the state of the Iran conflict.We open with recent fringe stories — a journalist claiming to be targeted by directed energy weapons after reporting on Epstein's Zorro Ranch, the reality behind Havana syndrome and sonic weapons, the cluster of "missing scientists," and why the government keeps quietly feeding the alien/UAP disclosure narrative. Robbie lays out his FBI entrapment theory ahead of his live show, and we dig into the recent Iran-linked as...
Trump's Bunker, Tulsi Bails & Operation One Barrel Boat
The debut edition of THE NONSENSE TIMES hits the press — Trump pays himself $1.776 billion to apologize for being the government, a 94-year-old gets indicted as a pretext for war, and the Defense Department drops UFO files while the country quietly fights two wars.Then: Trump's six-level subterranean palace, Iran handing out AK-47s on state TV, the IRGC busting US arms shipments into Iraqi Kurdistan, Tulsi Gabbard resigning as DNI, the Strait of Hormuz blowup, and a Creative Solutions blueprint introducing the Mega-Fan 9000 and the Trump Docking Station.Plus Jim Jordan grilling the SPLC over $3 mi...
Aliens, Suicide Notes & Cash Patel Goes Snorkeling
Trump posts an AI image of himself perp-walking a chained alien — one cuff, no caption, total chaos — while the New York Post tries to convince subway riders that four alien species have been pulled from crashed UFOs (the source: an 89-year-old who didn't see anything but believes the people who told him). The Epstein "suicide note" finally turns up, Rob runs through every unanswered question that note doesn't fix, and FBI Director Cash Patel apparently went snorkeling at Pearl Harbor — the scandal nobody will take credit for.Plus: Trump's $750M in stock trades and the conflicts of intere...
Hantavirus Don't Care About Aliens
The Hantavirus is back, the alien files just dropped, and questioning the Iran war is officially treasonous. Rob runs through the simplest solution to two world problems at once (military industrial complex + vermin), explains why the most transparent administration in history can't stop telling you its real-time thoughts, breaks down Trump's "nobody respects you without a nuke" foreign policy doctrine, watches Netanyahu try to "wean Israel off" U.S. aid live on 60 Minutes, and gets to the AI throuple ad targeting Thomas Massey. Plus porches, plenty of porches.porch tour dates at: RobBernsteinComedy.com Submit porches at...
The Mini War Begins
Day 60 of Operation Epic Fury — except it's not called that anymore. Or a war. Or active kinetic bombing. We track every name the administration has given this thing depending on who's asking and what court they're standing in. Trump tells Congress the ceasefire stopped the War Powers Act clock, calls the seized Iranian oil tanker situation "a very profitable business," and compares the U.S. Navy to pirates. We do the actual math on that profitable business — spoiler: $6 billion in denied Iranian revenue vs. $25-58 billion in U.S. costs, 13 dead service members, gas at $4.39, and Spirit Airlines becoming the...
The Ballroom Bunker and the Elites' Underground Escape Plan
Turns out the great big beautiful White House ballroom was just a roof for the elites' new underground bunker — and they tore out the OLD bunker to build it. Hilariously bad management if Iran takes a swing while it's still under construction. Robbie breaks down why elites should be legally barred from owning bunkers, the Iranian negotiation strategy of showing Trump their cards before the hand plays out, the indictment of Fauci's right-hand man for hiding COVID records, the SPLC/Charlottesville/FBI collusion theory now being floated by Jim Jordan and Trump himself, Pam Bondi prosecuting James Comey for a...
Should We Fake Another One?
Sunday night emergency pod after the ballroom shooting. We break down the footage, the runner who moved at MK Ultra speeds, JD Vance's "can I finish my food?" face, and a peace sermon on why you shouldn't help other people.Plus: Trump cancels Iran peace talks while claiming a "better deal" he can't describe, falls asleep mid-Oval Office meeting, and tells a reporter Vietnam took 18 years so don't rush him. Polymarket front-running, another dead NASA scientist (the aliens want their tech back), 24,000-year-old zombie worms thawed in a lab, and a closing argument for why Spirit Airlines...
What If the Middle East Was Run Like Switzerland?
Professor David Beito returns to pitch a path to peace in the Middle East that nobody's talking about: the Swiss Canton model. Two dozen self-governing cantons, a deliberately weak federal government, freedom of movement, and the rule of law — applied to a combined Israel-Palestine roughly the same size as Switzerland itself.We get into why the two-state solution is dead, how privatizing the 97% of Israeli land owned by the government could compensate displaced Palestinians, what Arab Israelis already prove about coexistence, and why the US, EU, and UN are part of the problem. Beito also addresses the de...
Round 2… Postponed Again
The Iran ceasefire continues — or does it? Rob breaks down Trump's daily flip-flops, Iran's oil storage crisis, and the real game of economic chicken being played in the Hormuz. Plus: a former congressman explains how DC sexual blackmail operations actually work, Swalwell's $75K campaign bender and the hypocrisy of his "believe all women" pitch, kids are speedrunning the Scientology building, a streamer is getting $35,000 jaw surgery for 1.5 attractiveness points, JD Vance listening to Hasidic Disney ballads, Trump reads the Bible and wonders why God doesn't take more victory laps, Rogan gets Ibogaine FDA-approved by text message, and Mamdani's grocery st...
STRAIT TO WAR WITH CHINA?
Rob heads into the demon realm because reality has become an AOL pump and dump email. Three days ago Trump said the Hormuz Strait would reopen itself. Now we're blocking it ourselves and picking a fight with China.This episode: JD Vance walks into Pakistan negotiations like a demonic Mister Rogers and spends 20 hours demanding Iran accept terms they already rejected. Netanyahu confirms on camera that Vance was reporting to him the entire time. Trump celebrates shooting down 101 missiles as a win — the cost breakdown says otherwise ($4 billion, 15% of our annual interceptor missile production, one engagement). Roger St...
Back To ‘Not War’… This Is What Happens Next
The Iran ceasefire is collapsing in real time — JD Vance says it never included Lebanon, Iran says it did, and Pakistan (who mediated the whole thing) is siding with Iran. Meanwhile Trump is charging Iran protection money for the Strait of Hormuz, Pam Bondi no-showed the Epstein deposition because she's "unprepared," and Melania held a surprise press conference distancing herself from a man she definitely never met.This episode covers the Iran non-war ceasefire breakdown, the auto-enrollment draft, Hormuz petrodollar math, the Epstein deposition fallout, Bondi, Melania, Pakistan, Marco Rubio, JD Vance, Ratcliffe, Taiwan deterrence strategy, and wh...